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i just wrote a whole blog , i swear I did but trust me it sucked sometimes i get writers block and then I go on hiatus and then getting back in the saddle is even harder. Its strange because I feel like I have so much I want to write about but none of it, when written seems like anything anyone would want to read. 

Instead I will try to fill this space with a little bit of nonsense (its what you love me for)

  • holy effing balls, did you see the Kevin Ware injury?? Im still in shock over it and it was 3 days ago! Poor guy and there was an interview that he just went into shock and was telling his teammates that he was “fine” and to go win the game. Um sir, i do not know if you know but your bone is OUTSIDE of your leg, that does not mean “fine” but you know what good for him, hope he bounces back because that was super unfortunate
  • Isagenix and nutritional cleansing is real and amazing and I think I finally am practicing the whole its not a diet its a way of life thing and could not be happier
  • Boys are stupid and we should throw rocks at them (an oldie but a goodie)
  • Being honest with yourself and what you want  from who you want is the best policy. There should be no fear in the “hey what are we doing here” question , just 2 things : 1) if you need to ask, dont you already sort of know? and 2) if a boy freaks out about that he is just that a boy and not a Man , move on 
  • why is Kim Kardashian dressing this way? shes GORGEOUS this is why i find this completely inexcusable, Kris Jenner, please figure this out asap. k thanks bye.
  • i suppose Ill put a line about the subject line there. You ever have a moment when you realize there has been a shift in your life? My moment came on a yoga mat on a saturday night sans vodka (weird)
  • i stay up way too late on weeknights
  • I am working on something kids…stay tuned and trust me 
  • are you reading thoughtcatalog? no? why not? they are always good for making lists and writing things that apply, they are like my blog idols
  • Just realized i wrote nothing about st. patricks day…hmmm to sum up:
  • expertly day drank at brunch , ventured to the classic spot : Overlook NYC  (dont worry firefighter was not there, that was the beginning of the end of the era)
  • then did a third avenue tour. there may have been other firefighters and other ridiculously attractive albeit 24 year old and someone may have made out with him, but who am i to kiss an tell

talk you and next time with any luck it will be a wayyyy better blog next time around

 

 

 

Well this blog has been a long time coming and trust me I have painfully went through the research haha , ok not that painful… So if you follow this blog (and obviously you do, right?) you know that my dating history has a batting average of about -300. A few weeks ago i thought, self, time to put some other energy out there why don’t you go ahead and make yourself a profile on one of those sights on the inter web.

So I Did….

and these are my observations so far (im sure there will be part II and part III to this blog haha)

  • What the hell is your username? Seriously just use your name or be funny…seriously, Arriola is a terrible (and real) username.Really? no not responding, not even looking at your message
  • Did you know that every single guy “hates the drama” ? It’s literally in nearly every profile. Well gee isn’t that an original idea. Hey news flash, your (generalizing all guys here) definition of drama is completely warped. ALSO if you do find us to be dramatic its probably because you are creating it by being a shady asshole. ( i don’t care if this sounds like I’m “being dramatic” you know I’m right.)
  • I wish people would STOP typing the following words “gurl” “ud” “ur” “kewl” “dis” just stop . seriously, please I am actually begging you. And “gurl” is the worst one, you are SO CLOSE to spelling it correctly, I bet it takes effort to spell it wrong, lord knows if you are using an iphone it is desperately trying to autocorrect it.
  • I know persistence is key but this is an actual transcript from my inbox today :

10:42am - Hello I’m Robb n I was wondering if u found anyone yet?

10:46am - Well if u care I have no drama I’m romantic a hard worker I’m not a player I love to have fun get to know one person at a time I live alone and I’m just looking for my other half any luck with u?

11:31am - well u so beautiful I’ll make a exception for u here is my number call me hopefully 347******

oh lucky lucky me I am the exception… I wonder if anyone has ever told this guy he’s coming off a bit like a a freaking crazy person who may murder you.

  • The first message you send a person you should not be calling them “babe” “hunni” “sweetie” (that one is really the worst) “sexii” (okay i may definitely hate that one the most) or any other term of endearment. For the reason why lets look at the term itself “term of endearment” you don’t know me enough to know all of my endearing qualities. It just feels weird .
  • There are some VERY attractive people out there (see its not all negative, assuming its not catfish of course)
  • The first message you send a person you should not be calling them “babe” “hunni” “sweetie” (that one is really the worst) “sexii” (okay i may definitely hate that one the most) or any other term of endearment. For the reason why lets look at the term itself “term of endearment” you don’t know me enough to know all of my endearing qualities. It just feels weird .
  • There are some VERY attractive people out there (see its not all negative, assuming its not catfish of course)
  •  This message happened, in real life “hi good looking sexy babe girl!!!!What u up to,i see ur heels there:)” ..vomit
  • So ok ill go back to a positive thing. I have had lots of good conversation. The benefit of online dating websites is that in theory everyone is there with the same end goal . Obviously there are outliers who only want to send creepy messages and ask if you have Skype, but those people live in real life too.
  • Apparently everyone wants to know if you have instagram….why is that ok to ask?? You might as well say hey, your pictures you put online are cool and all but id like the ability to stalk all of your other pictures as well.
  • I wish people would stop asking “so what do you do for fun” because everyone (me included) has the same answer, we all do the same shit, evidently we are all here to find someone to do that stuff with.
  • Why do people look like a completely different guys in their pictures. I don’t mean the people who don’t look like they do in pictures in real life. I am talking about the people who post 5 pictures and look like different people in all of them. I don’t want to guess or ask you if you have a beard now? or if your head is shaved? or if you are plus or minus 30lbs (sorry its true) . I think it is only fair to have a fews pics that are recent that are an accurate depiction of what you look like

So those were a lot of random points but thats kind of all Ive got so far. I think its a positive thing as of now. Worst case scenario its conversation practice. Best case scenario I meet someone and we hit it off (and ok ill say it eventually, we live happily ever after) Most likely scenario is you guys get a great blog update.

oh , just one last observation, sometimes they guy who sells you your car is also suggested as a match when you complete your online dating profile, weird how life happens huh

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The Truth About Trust…

I thought about calling this the truth about lies but thought that was too blatantly trying to be clever. (and generally I like to think I’m clever all on my own)

Ok so trust…I don’t need to webster this to be able to provide a workable definition. It is an invaluable part of any relationship be it a friend, a boyfriend , a colleague, a client hell even Santa Clause. You trust that every year he will know exactly what you want and deliver it before you wake up on Christmas day. You trust that because he’s never given you reason not to. (i digress, i just love christmas but the logic stands!) 

For me at least I am quick to trust on the surface; meaning I generally expect that the people I meet are honest with me and that for most superficial things I can trust them. Now even though I have encountered situations that disprove this belief I still choose to believe that as people we are generally trust worthy- I hate that even typing that I know that as you are reading this sentence you are thinking me a fool. I HATE that expecting the good in people and wanting to trust people makes me the one in the wrong. How messed up is that? I am the one society deems ridiculous while we all just accept the fact that everybody lies. Why? When did this happen? AND why is it considered so naive to think hey, im sure this person isnt a pathological liar with some other agenda? 

Phew, i feel better. The thing is people, I am not changing. I am going to continue to keep my semi rose colored glasses on because, well because it just looks better this way. What I do want to know is why scientists haven’t actually figured out this “pants on fire” thing, i think there is something there :)

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An Open Letter(s)

You know what I hate? When you walk away from a conversation and you think “damn It would have been so awesome if I had said that!” Or “someone really should tell her that) It’s almost makes you wish real reality was a bit more like reality tv in that we could get a “take 2″ every once in a while. In this vain, here are some open letters to people who may never read them (but we can hope)

Dear lifetime member at weightwatchers,
I’m really happy that you lost even more weight over the holidays, and thanks for the tip about pureeing the frozen banana (it’s delicious really) but I’m going to need you to stop saying “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” I know you didn’t come up with it but its stupid and just makes me think, well then you are obviously eating the wrong things, feel free to come to my aunts house one Sunday you will understand
Love
A fellow weight watcher who knows what good food is

Dear girl on the train wearing legit wooden clogs,
Why? It’s raining and cold…why?
Love,
Someone responsibly in sneakers

Dear dating website guy,
(Did I tell you guys I joined a dating website? The blog entries are all stockpiled haha) no I’m not “just like every other girl on here who never wants to meet up” but when you ask me on a Tuesday when it’s snowing at 8 pm after boot camp I just don’t have it in me to get dolled up and go out. Stop being so dramatic
Love
Hopefully not “the one” for you

Dear car salesman,
Thank you for selling me an awesome car. But more so thanks for making the boxer comment in front of my mom, that was a special moment for all of us I think.
Love,
Still a Toyota gal

Dear random hot guy at the breakfast place,
Do you always get breakfast here? Why have I never seen you? I miss you already.
Love,
The best part of waking up was not foldgers today

Dear obnoxious sports fan behind me,
You have no idea what your saying and your actually incorrect about ever other word. Stop screaming because you are so anti-establishment you can’t route for the home team. Go back to Williamsburg in your skinny jeans (no offense, kinda)
Love,
A girl who actually knows sports

Dear random heckling guy at east village comedy club,
I hate you. You are unbelievably annoying and should never be allowed in a group setting. Not one person care about anything coming out of your stupid mouth
Love,
If I was a guy I would’ve punched you in the face

And finally:

Dear people sitting on the same side of a booth at a restaurant,
Why? There are three of you! What possible freakshow relationship must you be in that makes cramming into one side of a small booth an acceptable option. Seriously it’s just awkward.
Love,
Everyone else at the restaurant

Well hope you enjoyed these and maybe ill be lucky and one of these letters reaches its intended recipient . In other news 2013 is a whole new awesome year look forward to lots of blogs I’ve got a doozy in mind for the next one !

An Open Letter to 2013

Hey there 2013,

You all ready to come in with a bang here? I know tonight is your big night and by no means am I trying to rain on your excitement parade but I do want to have a quick chat before this gets started. First, just so you know my general point here, i need you to be WAY better than 2012 (dont bother keeping it a secret, 2012 knows exactly how I feel). This isn’t a request, this is 100% a demand. But don’t worry I can at least give you some things to avoid. First and foremost, lets avoid any and all natural disasters. I mean it, I know New York is all big and tough and awesome but like give us a break for a while, sometimes its not so easy to be the strong one. Also, just speaking for everyone here, if you could go off without any sort of fiscal cliffs i bet everyone would be real happy.  The next few ones are a bit more personal but I think they will work for the good of the general public as well.  Let’s try to avoid any situations in which (in effort to court another person) any person pretends to be someone else, or lies about having children, or about having a girlfriend, OR about being engaged (or married of course). While we are at it lets also try to have a year full of communication where maybe people say what they mean and mean what they say?  Might as well change it up from the years past. Can you also try to sub out those people who are included in the categories above and replace them with genuine, nice, caring, compassionate people who aren’t complete sociopaths. Maybe this is the year that awesome people get to have awesome lives. I know this is a lot to ask of you , especially when your first day is coming so soon BUT if it is any consolation I believe you can do it. I believe so strongly in you 2013 that I don’t doubt it for a minute! 2012 really struggled but now you have the chance to pick up the batton and sprint ahead! YOU CAN DO IT! ……because if you cant, i know several people who will come after you, and I dont promise that they wont have pitchforks and torches…

good luck god speed 2013, we need it.

 

PS – to all of my friends , family, readers (?) I hope you all have a wonderful new year and a very safe and fun new years eve!

Blah blah…took me too long too write….blah blah..who reads this anyway..blah blah ….ill try to do better (I know I know broken record but honestly I will endeavor to do better, generally speaking)

Reruns…who doesn’t love them? You know when your flipping through and you hit tbs at about 11pm and you get to hear Joey ask, “could I BE wearing any more clothes?!” You can’t help but fist pump and congratulate yourself and tbs for this awesome find…and no one could fault you for it. Same rules apply for Family Guy, Law and Order and (if you’re me) NCIS . Seems as if the jokes are still funny, Benson is still always too emotionally connected to the victim, and Gibbs is still, well, Gibbs. You get real comfortable sprawled on your couch and fall back into the worlds your watching on tv. Then sometimes you’ve just seen the same episode like 3trillion times and no matter how tan Stewie gets, how many lines Stabler crosses or how one of Gibbs’ rule stops the terrorist attack, you just change the channel. Because you’ve seen it before, in fact you’ve seen it the aforementioned 3trillion times and you almost can’t enjoy watching anymore because you know the ending, intimately. It doesn’t mean you don’t like the shows anymore its just like that episode has crossed the bridge, jumped its own shark if you will. That’s also not to say you won’t ever watch the episode again it just won’t be with the same sort of gusto I suppose.

And that’s the end of the first half of my blog , written about reruns that are on so many times they are in syndication ..read into that as you may.

Ah resolutions ..this is the time of year when all of a sudden EVERYONE is all making resolutions. I swear I think Lucille Roberts spends all of its advertising money in December and January. And you know the intent is good to resolve to be better to do better and in some cases to do less. But these resolutions have become so dull and cliche. In an effort to combat that here is my list of resolutions and goals for 2013

> do more vetting on potential dating candidates – this includes, google and Facebook stalking their circle (so you can assure there isn’t a wife or fiancé or wedding registry out there), and having them sporadically text you a picture message while holding the days paper (to assure of course, that they aren’t pretending to be another person)
> stop ogling attractive men that walk by and definitely stop pretending to follow them – I mean I have to admit I don’t have much fair in myself for this one…I know one day I’m going to get caught but I just don’t know that I fear the consequences yet haha
> tracking – this is sort of cliche as it relates to weight-loss but I need to get back to embracing the WW plan
> WBO 2013… My friends may recognize this from WBO 2011 and WBO 2012… So far I’ve been marginally successful but again truth be told I’m clearly not ready to commit lol
> write more blogs – I hate depriving my fans of ridiculousness, because just because no one is there to hear it doesn’t mean the tree didn’t fall and make noise

I think that is enough immediate goals , wouldn’t want to make the mistake of setting the bar too high :)

Xoxo

Ps. oMG Dan was Gossip Girl! Idk if anyone still watched that show I know I didn’t but still did not see Dan being gossip girl! I’m just happy it wasn’t Georgina (guilty pleasure circa 2010 rant)

Just, wow…

So I knew I would be writing a blog on or around my birthday. It’s another milestone and right tater Halloween . I would have been the perfect venue for an update on my Halloween fun and some cheeky reflections on the 26th year of my life. Oh and trust me it was going to be ultra cheeky as you know there has been a lot of I’m comedy for a lack of better term in my life. But then everything changed……

Sunday evening after we heard the subway was shutting down that night we were in the city at our favorite bar just drinking and having some typical drunk conversations pretty dismissive of the storm that was coming in. Should we go get supplies? Eh I mean we can but this is New York it’s never bad here…..it only took me 12 hours to eat my words. I woke up Monday morning prepared to lounge at home as my office downtown was closed. I was not prepared for the jaw dropping forecast I was watching and then for the news reports that followed . It’s still shocking that my city was and is underwater and could be so devastated. I don’t have words to describe how I feel accurately or eloquently and I also don’t want to somehow use this tragedy as a platform for a good blog post. Just couldn’t write it without talking about it. If anything has been ridiculous over this last year this certainly takes the cake. So if you read this 1) I hope you and your family is ok 2) if you are ok find a way to help or donate those who aren’t.

And now, because sometimes you need a good laugh, here is the regularly scheduled blog programming….

So I don’t need to retell all of these stories at length . Seems a bit redundant but allow me to recap year 26 in a couple of quick timeline highlights :
- started celebrating in 3 states and a dozen roses (so far so good)
- the roses lasted longer than the relationship (that was fast)
- NYE in Miami (back to things being good)
- Met cute guy (ooo this is an upswing)
- Turns out cute guy gave my number to his friend who continued to talk to me pretending to be cute guy until we were supposed to hang out and he admitted it (well that put the breaks on the upswing)
- through an impromptu cowboy themed party, piñata included (one for the win column)
- giants win the Super Bowl and I go to the parade (and two of us finished two bottles of champagne before 8am , let the winning continue)
- went to ski house , but then contracted hunter mountain virus (let’s call this a draw)
- had to have an emergency root canal after googling a dentist near my hotel in San Diego (um def not a win, unless you count the Vicodin)
- st Patrick’s day at my favorite bar , great time and hey isn’t that the firefighter I met years ago and who texts me every st Patrick’s day ? (This should have been a win)
- woohoo girls trip to ft lauderdale and with the two exceptions, 1) finding out said flower guy above reads this blog and 2) burning myself in a sensitive area on a fajita plate a good time was had by all
- best friend moves out of the woods and into Astoria (total win)
- continue to date that firefighter from st Patrick’s day, what a good story right?
- get a new awesome job and get to leave the old one
- did a mud run and that was also awesome
- used google and found a wedding registry … I’m sorry let me repeat , I found firefighters registry and it wasn’t for a wedding to me (this was a special day and a total total point for the loss column)
- went to my very first Giants game and it was awesome
- Halloween party, took a big gulp, wore nude colored spandex went out and had just an amazing time (did u know a cab will go through a drive through at 4am?)

And then Sandy happened and here we are , 5 short hours from kicking off 27. I guess if you look at the facts, it wasn’t all terrible. I think the takeaway given the events of this week is just that I am overwhelmingly lucky to have the people I do in my life. It’s ok to lean on your friends for support and ok to give yourself some times to just drink , eat junk food and bitch about things and spend 5 hours at brunch and flirt with that guy at the bar because sometimes you just need to take a time out and exhale. Tomorrow is Monday though, a brand new day, a brand new week and a brand new year, can’t wait to see what happens next.

Written on my iPad , sorry its so long and sorry if none of it is grammatically correct, I didn’t proofread :)

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